How Prayer Lead to a Change of Heart

When assignments for the new school year were given, I was placed at Juniper Elementary. To say I was disappointed was an understatement. Out of all the schools in the district, this was the school I wanted the least. No one wanted Juniper. My co-workers, who had all been assigned to other schools across the city, sent me looks of sympathy and concern. However, they were noticeably relieved that it was my assignment and not theirs. See Juniper had a student that attended our after school program. His name was Sean, and he was notorious for always being in trouble. He

didn't listen, he picked fights, he argued back, and so on and so on. Every leader in our summer program had had trouble with Sean. I am embarrassed to admit that I went into that school year knowing I was not going to deal with Sean's behavior problems. Every time he stepped out of line, I would immediately call my supervisor. I would then be given permission to call Sean's mother. I would explain what he was doing and she would come pick him up. I didn't care that she was a single mother who had to leave work to come get him. I wanted him out of my program. After talking to Sean's mother, who was clearly exhausted with his behavior, I had a great idea. I would pray that Sean's behavior would change. If he could just listen then things would be easier for myself, his mother, and the other kids in the program. Day after day, I prayed. Things with Sean did not improve. Although, I had eased up tremendously on calling my supervisor and reporting every little

thing Sean did wrong, he was still misbehaving. I wondered why was my prayers were not being answered.

One Sunday, while sitting in sacrament meeting, a thought came to my mind that pierced to my very soul. The thought was stop praying for Sean to change; instead, pray for you to change. That night as I knelt down to pray, I asked my Heavenly Father to change my heart when it came to Sean. I asked for guidance that I would be the leader Sean needed me to be. The next day, as I stood waiting for the kids in my program to arrive, I noticed Sean happily running over to me. He greeted me with his usual bear hug. Only this time, I didn't see a boy who didn't listen. I saw a child of God. A child who needed to be loved. In that moment, I knew exactly what to do. I said to him, "Sean, I am so happy you are here today! Would you like to be my helper?" Excitedly Sean replied, "Yes!" From that day on Sean became my helper. He would help check in students, help get snack, help pop the popcorn etc. From that day on, I never had a behavior problem with Sean again. I took time to talk to him, listen to him, and play board games with him. Everyone in my program that year was happier and more willing to help each other. 

When the school year ended and the summer program started up, kids from all the schools in the district met at the same place. We were now divided up by age, and I was assigned the 5 and 6 year old. Sean was 10 and not in my group. Every day I would witness leaders struggling to communicate with him. They would get frustrated, Sean would get frustrated and so it would quickly spiral down from there. He would be sent to the office for a time out again and again. I, now knowing Sean, went to talk to my supervisor. I asked her to let Sean come to my group, ensuring her that he would be a great helper to the younger kids. She agreed, and Sean was assigned to my group for the rest of the summer. He was a great helper and the younger kids loved him. The other leaders were amazed at how different Sean was. What they neglected to understand was it wasn't Sean that was different, it was me.

Now I am raising my own children. I regularly turn to my Heavenly Father in pray, and fervently ask him to guide me to be the parent my children need. That I will know how to communicate with them individually and in a way they understand. I am not perfect and have to repent regularly, but I know that they are children of God with a divine nature and eternal destiny. I know that Heavenly Father knows them better than I do and will assist in helping me succeed as their earthly mother. 

I am so grateful for that still small voice who all those years ago helped me to change not only my nature but also my heart.