it doesn't get easier you just get stronger
~ at ease designs
Today I wanted to write a little bit about how I deal with Aaron being gone, and some really good advice I received. Although this is military related, I believe, it applies to everyone.
When I first was married, I remember reading an article about things wives can do to make deployment/separation easier. (sorry I can't remember where I found the article) It listed things like, don't lay in bed all day, get dressed, eat well etc. After reading this article, I was dreading ever having to go through a deployment. It sounded so depressing. This couldn't really be how wives deal with deployment could it?
While my husband was stationed in Monterey, I met the sweetest lady. Her name is Juliana and she always went out of her way to make me feel welcome and included at church. One day while we were hanging out, - probably shopping - I asked her, "How do you deal with your husband being gone?" Juliana told me that she keeps a deployment journal. In this journal she writes down all the positive things that happen BECAUSE her husband is deployed. I went home feeling a lot more confident in being able to deal with a future deployment.
Since life in Monterey, Aaron has been gone quite a bit. I have learned better with each field training, trip, and now a deployment how to do better with him being gone.
Here are a few things I do to help me stay upbeat
1. Don't Complain - It sounds simple enough but I find not complaining to actually be quite difficult. Sometimes it is just easier to feel sorry for myself and to allow others to feel sorry for me too. It's easy to get frustrated and angry when things just aren't going smoothly. When Aaron first got to Germany, I was so mad. Mad that he had to be there, mad that he was the only married guy with a bunch of single guys, mad that he would be gone later that year for deployment blah blah blah. I finally snapped out of it and made a conscious effort to never do that again. I feel that once you let in a little bit of negativity then everything starts going down hill. Once I stopped complaining, I saw a huge change in myself. I also noticed that Aaron was happier, because I wasn't complaining to him all the time about this and that. At the end of the day, I am really blessed and don't feel I have to right to complain.
2. Look for the good things that happen each day - 1st Nephi 1:20 says, "The tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverence." This scripture and talk by Elder David A. Bednar gives me both strength and comfort. I know that the Lord is eager and willing to bestow upon us personal blessings to help us through life. I believe this is why it is so important to record these good things everyday. The more we recognize the hand of the Lord in our life the more gratitude we see and love we feel. While Aaron was in Germany, Hannah and I did Mummy and me swim with Kerri and Brynn. The class lasted for two weeks, and was a fun activity to keep Hannah and I busy. It was also really fun to watch Hannah and Brynn's friendship grow. I know a Mummy and me class seems pretty silly but I really enjoyed spending that time with Hannah, Kerri, and Brynn. An opportunity that would not have happened if Aaron did not go to Germany. This is just one of many examples that come from finding the good things that happen BECAUSE he is gone.
3. Stick to a daily routine - Even though I thought the article I read sounded quite silly, I have found that doing those simple everyday things really help my mood and overall attitude. It's amazing what eating a healthy breakfast, getting some fresh air, and putting some makeup on can do to brighten my spirits. It is hard to stay motivated sometimes when your day consists of entertaining a toddler and cleaning up after your dog; however, I want to be a positive example to Hannah and any other wives that may be struggling.
4. Look for strength in others - There is a real power in finding strength in other women. I have friends who have husbands deployed with mine. It is wonderful just to talk to them because they know exactly what I am going through. I also find strength from women in the scriptures; for example, The wife of Nephi. I do not know her name but she has become a real source of strength to me. She, with her family, walked across the desert for years, giving birth, eating raw meat, defending her husband from those who wanted him dead, and all without complaining. Yes, I think I can do better in following her example, especially since I get to live in the cutest little house and drive my car when I want to visit my family or go to the store.
5. Lastly, I keep reminding myself that one day that passes is one day closer to being together again : )
~ at ease designs
Today I wanted to write a little bit about how I deal with Aaron being gone, and some really good advice I received. Although this is military related, I believe, it applies to everyone.
While my husband was stationed in Monterey, I met the sweetest lady. Her name is Juliana and she always went out of her way to make me feel welcome and included at church. One day while we were hanging out, - probably shopping - I asked her, "How do you deal with your husband being gone?" Juliana told me that she keeps a deployment journal. In this journal she writes down all the positive things that happen BECAUSE her husband is deployed. I went home feeling a lot more confident in being able to deal with a future deployment.
Since life in Monterey, Aaron has been gone quite a bit. I have learned better with each field training, trip, and now a deployment how to do better with him being gone.
Here are a few things I do to help me stay upbeat
1. Don't Complain - It sounds simple enough but I find not complaining to actually be quite difficult. Sometimes it is just easier to feel sorry for myself and to allow others to feel sorry for me too. It's easy to get frustrated and angry when things just aren't going smoothly. When Aaron first got to Germany, I was so mad. Mad that he had to be there, mad that he was the only married guy with a bunch of single guys, mad that he would be gone later that year for deployment blah blah blah. I finally snapped out of it and made a conscious effort to never do that again. I feel that once you let in a little bit of negativity then everything starts going down hill. Once I stopped complaining, I saw a huge change in myself. I also noticed that Aaron was happier, because I wasn't complaining to him all the time about this and that. At the end of the day, I am really blessed and don't feel I have to right to complain.
2. Look for the good things that happen each day - 1st Nephi 1:20 says, "The tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty even unto the power of deliverence." This scripture and talk by Elder David A. Bednar gives me both strength and comfort. I know that the Lord is eager and willing to bestow upon us personal blessings to help us through life. I believe this is why it is so important to record these good things everyday. The more we recognize the hand of the Lord in our life the more gratitude we see and love we feel. While Aaron was in Germany, Hannah and I did Mummy and me swim with Kerri and Brynn. The class lasted for two weeks, and was a fun activity to keep Hannah and I busy. It was also really fun to watch Hannah and Brynn's friendship grow. I know a Mummy and me class seems pretty silly but I really enjoyed spending that time with Hannah, Kerri, and Brynn. An opportunity that would not have happened if Aaron did not go to Germany. This is just one of many examples that come from finding the good things that happen BECAUSE he is gone.
3. Stick to a daily routine - Even though I thought the article I read sounded quite silly, I have found that doing those simple everyday things really help my mood and overall attitude. It's amazing what eating a healthy breakfast, getting some fresh air, and putting some makeup on can do to brighten my spirits. It is hard to stay motivated sometimes when your day consists of entertaining a toddler and cleaning up after your dog; however, I want to be a positive example to Hannah and any other wives that may be struggling.
4. Look for strength in others - There is a real power in finding strength in other women. I have friends who have husbands deployed with mine. It is wonderful just to talk to them because they know exactly what I am going through. I also find strength from women in the scriptures; for example, The wife of Nephi. I do not know her name but she has become a real source of strength to me. She, with her family, walked across the desert for years, giving birth, eating raw meat, defending her husband from those who wanted him dead, and all without complaining. Yes, I think I can do better in following her example, especially since I get to live in the cutest little house and drive my car when I want to visit my family or go to the store.
5. Lastly, I keep reminding myself that one day that passes is one day closer to being together again : )
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